Friday, February 18, 2011

Drawing Near When Your Heart Is Cold

Sometimes I end a day with great thoughts of God and a spiritual life that is very much alive and I can hardly wait to get up in the morning and pick things right back up where I left off. And then..... I awake the next morning and I can’t believe how spiritually dead I am! Where did it all go? Not only am I unable to pick things up from wherever I left off the night before, but I feel like I’m back at square one all over again. I struggle to pray, both in wanting to, and in feeling like I have anything at all to say to God. Somehow, the fires of the spirit have died down and the old latent powers of the flesh have reasserted themselves during those 8 short hours that I laid in bed. It’s a battle I have fought all my life and always will. Just not a morning person, I guess.

No doubt many of you can identify. So how do we get the fire going again? Here are some of the things I do. Feel free to sort through these and latch on to anything that might look helpful and throw away the rest.
1.       Start with what whatever you find easiest to do. I don’t usually waste too much time beating myself up for not feeling like praying. I usually have no problem being willing to read the Bible, so I just return to wherever I left off yesterday and read some more. It’s a start; in fact it’s a pretty good start. Maybe it’s the opposite for you and reading the word is hard but you can always pray. Then do that, and do it as long as it takes to start waking up again spiritually.
2.       Be patient with yourself. The body and the mind and the spirit are amazingly interdependent and if the old body is sluggish as it often is early in the morning, don’t be surprised if your faith is too. Don’t worry, it will come back. (I find coffee helps!)
3.       Be honest with God. Come as you are. Go ahead and tell Him what He already knows anyway. I told Him this morning that I was sorry that I didn’t feel like praying and simply asked for His help. Two reasons for this: First, God likes honest prayers (He “gives grace to the humble”) and secondly, it’s good for me to hear myself speak the truth. (“The truth will set you free” Someone once said.) I believe, as we studied in Romans 8 last Sunday, that nothing can separate me from God’s love, not even my sluggish flesh and dryness of spirit. At my worst of moments, if you asked me if I believed God loves me as much as ever, I am always able to say a confident “yes.” I thank God for that assurance. My heart begins to warm.
4.       If I’m really having trouble praying (and it’s not uncommon) I start with simple words of thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2 says, “Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving.” I give thanks for my life, family, health, country, church, people God has put in my life over the years to guide me in life and faith, for the cross and resurrection and His love, etc. It’s amazing how sincere thanks always warms up the old heart.

There’s a Psalm somewhere (108) where David speaks of singing and praising and “awakening the dawn.”  What I’ve been admitting here is that I’m not there yet; maybe never will be. Some days it’s a real fight - the “good fight of faith” as Paul once told Timothy. I’m just happy to report from my experience that if you’re willing to at least step out there and just try to draw near to God, even though you might feel like you’ve gotten nowhere, you very often will become aware of someone at your side, and you make the delightful discovery that He has drawn near to you.

John